This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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