we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
