he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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