He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
