So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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