But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
