Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
