3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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