hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
