She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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