You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
