So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
