Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
