Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
