Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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