i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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