census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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