new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
God gave him joint rollers for hands
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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