nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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