I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
