rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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