yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
