I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
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I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
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I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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