I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
