I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
