Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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