I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
