im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
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When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
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I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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