I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize