Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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