Plan B is the new Plan A
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize