I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
