So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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