I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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