We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
