Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
of course. lets lasso hookers.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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