Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(217): View more from Illinois

the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome

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(217): the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome http://tfl.nu/yox5

Replies (11) Good night (1578) Bad night (537)
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(716): View more from New York

So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.

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(716): So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar. http://tfl.nu/a5mu

Replies (64) Good night (6823) Bad night (734)
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(716): View more from New York

a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz

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(716): a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz http://tfl.nu/ffgi

Replies (39) Good night (7865) Bad night (870)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals

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(843): they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals http://tfl.nu/7ny2

Replies (21) Good night (3980) Bad night (859)
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(914): View more from New York

He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.

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(914): He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash. http://tfl.nu/xg6e

Replies (9) Good night (3376) Bad night (869)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height

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(780): The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height http://tfl.nu/mxot

Replies (9) Good night (4801) Bad night (1024)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.

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(440): Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed. http://tfl.nu/3vnt

Replies (4) Good night (2359) Bad night (1029)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.

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(910): I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair. http://tfl.nu/qnzd

Replies (4) Good night (1663) Bad night (1227)
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(480): View more from Arizona

She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.

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(480): She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress. http://tfl.nu/19rj

Replies (4) Good night (632) Bad night (1354)
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(813): View more from Florida

I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan

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(813): I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan http://tfl.nu/4qu1

Replies (4) Good night (1061) Bad night (476)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home

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(910): There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home http://tfl.nu/98yp

Replies (10) Good night (1324) Bad night (526)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.

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(573): Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them. http://tfl.nu/c182

Replies (8) Good night (917) Bad night (409)
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(802): View more from Vermont

All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.

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(802): All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right. http://tfl.nu/z8z5

Replies (2) Good night (793) Bad night (335)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.

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(270): I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony. http://tfl.nu/dln2

Replies (1) Good night (604) Bad night (315)
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(585): View more from New York

don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.

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(585): don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking. http://tfl.nu/3gr5

Replies (1) Good night (828) Bad night (237)

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