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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again

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• (845): View more from New York

  Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier

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• (315): View more from New York

  Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I am thankful for thumbs.

  (425): View more from Washington

  Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.

  (425): View more from Washington

  Land dolphins.

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• (585): View more from New York

  Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.

  (804): View more from Virginia

  god. marry me.

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