My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize