Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?

(804): View more from Virginia

who says it cant be both...

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(757): im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever? (804): who says it cant be both... http://tfl.nu/wstu

Replies (50) Good night (6748) Bad night (624)
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(703): View more from Virginia

swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."

(202): View more from Washington, DC

buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.

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(703): swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back." (202): buy whatever she's on. a lot of it. http://tfl.nu/b6gr

Replies (34) Good night (15761) Bad night (1044)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.

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(608): he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily. http://tfl.nu/l76l

Replies (40) Good night (4112) Bad night (4761)
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(770): View more from Georgia

The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions

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(770): The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions http://tfl.nu/csf1

Replies (11) Good night (5755) Bad night (857)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day

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(610): I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day http://tfl.nu/7iec

Replies (16) Good night (3513) Bad night (930)
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(917): View more from New York City

The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...

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(917): The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline... http://tfl.nu/p4q2

Replies (1) Good night (2204) Bad night (898)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.

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(908): Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas. http://tfl.nu/cnc6

Replies (13) Good night (3233) Bad night (598)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.

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(215): I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood. http://tfl.nu/t851

Replies (3) Good night (1795) Bad night (505)
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(907): View more from Alaska

Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen

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(907): Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen http://tfl.nu/aug1

Replies (14) Good night (873) Bad night (2514)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence

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(802): Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence http://tfl.nu/e5a5

Replies (6) Good night (928) Bad night (496)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...

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(215): I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands... http://tfl.nu/sf3a

Replies (4) Good night (1116) Bad night (344)
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(207): View more from Maine

Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.

(1-207): View more from Maine

They want yo temporarily sterile ass.

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(207): Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong. (1-207): They want yo temporarily sterile ass. http://tfl.nu/285n

Replies (9) Good night (1423) Bad night (419)
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(706): View more from Georgia

You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.

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(706): You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT. http://tfl.nu/osv9

Replies (4) Good night (949) Bad night (353)
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(415): View more from California

Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.

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(415): Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx. http://tfl.nu/4yiy

Replies (3) Good night (432) Bad night (771)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.

(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis

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(780): My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace. (780): I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD. (403): I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis http://tfl.nu/glgp

Replies (3) Good night (486) Bad night (259)

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