Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?

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  (203): these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw? http://tfl.nu/m5nm
  Replies (1) Good night (2061) Bad night (1366)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept

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  (773): I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept http://tfl.nu/49pe
  Replies (10) Good night (612) Bad night (1875)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.

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  (918): The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners. http://tfl.nu/k8de
  Replies (7) Good night (751) Bad night (3839)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?

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  (218): The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it? http://tfl.nu/eoc0
  Replies (3) Good night (2786) Bad night (671)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  pedialite and red bull = repair kit

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  (954): pedialite and red bull = repair kit http://tfl.nu/fijn
  Replies (22) Good night (3389) Bad night (753)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is it because I queefed?

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  (610): Is it because I queefed? http://tfl.nu/rxys
  Replies (54) Good night (954) Bad night (6135)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?

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  (863): she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know? http://tfl.nu/bmzo
  Replies (6) Good night (812) Bad night (4487)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.

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  (708): He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed. http://tfl.nu/ytov
  Replies (15) Good night (5056) Bad night (1077)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.

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  (970): She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag. http://tfl.nu/2nbx
  Replies (12) Good night (862) Bad night (2599)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.

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  (570): Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone. http://tfl.nu/7xsv
  Replies (6) Good night (1537) Bad night (617)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.

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  (602): After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her. http://tfl.nu/mkbl
  Replies (5) Good night (1002) Bad night (460)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater

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  (226): I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater http://tfl.nu/c1nm
  Replies (6) Good night (952) Bad night (485)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole

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  (617): Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole http://tfl.nu/3dil
  Replies (7) Good night (2572) Bad night (405)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.

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  (303): They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar. http://tfl.nu/u9wl
  Replies (2) Good night (371) Bad night (756)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.

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  (320): I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis. http://tfl.nu/yg5k
  Replies (2) Good night (953) Bad night (231)

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