Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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