so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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