The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Your penis caused this!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
