And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize