dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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