how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
