i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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