theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
