I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We are all done wearing pants today
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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