I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
