I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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