i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
