Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
