just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Terrible idea I love it
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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