Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize