i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
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His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
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Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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