There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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