yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize