a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
i think im in europe. pls send help
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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