My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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