Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
