Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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